


tommyinnit's slightly beatable method of avoiding sudden death

by mania_sama



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Awkward Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Blood and Violence, Cussing, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Gift Fic, Gift Work, Graphic Description, Gun Violence, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Heavy Angst, Heroes & Heroines, Human Trafficking, Injury, Major Character Injury, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Not Beta Read, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Older Siblings Wilbur Soot and Technoblade, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Scared TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Shooting Guns, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Sleepy Bois Inc Fluff, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Sleepy Bois Inc-centric, TommyInnit Nearly Dies (Video Blogging RPF), Vigilante TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Vigilantism, Villains, Violence, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade are Siblings, anyway, no beta we die like Mexican dream, not me taking a crack fic and making it angsty smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 15:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30006939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mania_sama/pseuds/mania_sama
Summary: In which TommyInnit learns to update his unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death.—•—•—-LOWERCASE INTENDED FOR TITLE-—•—•—Soon to be posted to Wattpad.—•—•—If any of the content creators featured in this fanfiction are not comfortable with being in this fanfiction, I will take it down.
Relationships: Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 65
Kudos: 865





	tommyinnit's slightly beatable method of avoiding sudden death

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eneli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eneli/gifts).
  * Inspired by [TommyInnit's unbeatable method of avoiding sudden death](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29230860) by [eneli](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eneli/pseuds/eneli). 



> im fuckighiuhish the source fic is so funny and i love it so much but i had a really good idea so ive put it into words and now i cant go back. i hope i did the original fanfic justice. also, i wrote this in like 5 hours, yet its taking me 2 weeks to write the same amount of words for my other fanfiction smh

“Tubbo? Tubbo?” A boy clinging to the extremely unstable tree slapped his ear repeatedly, the bark tearing away as he shifted his grip. He whispered his roommate’s name a few more times before coming to the conclusion that it was utterly useless, and that somehow they had lost their connection. He wasn’t even sure how the tech worked so it wasn't like he could fix it.

He pocketed the earpiece, one of the two brain cells he had telling him he should save it so Tubbo could work on fixing it. That way, they could make sure this disconnection doesn’t happen like that again, and instead Tommy could crush it when he chose to stop talking to his best friend. He glanced at the sprite bottle perched on the crevice between the main trunk and a branch sticking out, the fish inside blinking at him lazily. “I know, right? I am a genius.”

Clementine twirls, the water around her bubbling with the movement. “No, you can’t come down with me. You are just going to watch from above today. Take notes from the master.” She blew a bubble in his direction before turning to face the ground below them. “Good, my child. Now we wait just a few seconds before these guys come out.” He drummed his fingers against the tree as small anxiety bubbled up in his stomach. He didn’t know how many people were in there, just that he needed to stop them before they took anyone else.

He honestly doesn’t know how Tubbo finds these missions for him. This is something that the heroes should know about, but apparently not. He had to admit, it seemed that this human trafficking ring had remained hidden for a pretty long time. With all the other crime going on in the area, it was easy to overlook the ones who actually had some intelligence with how to disguise their deeds.

He took another look at Clementine, who seemed focused on the field. She, too, was watching for the horrible people. He gulped, a vision of his separation from his daughter clear in his head. Perhaps the worst part about this whole mission was not the fact that this was big, scary men, but that they took kids his age. Kids who were much stronger than him and had a bright future ahead. Tommy gave himself credit for his wondrous strength and ability, but there was a certain reality to the situation that he couldn’t ignore like he usually did.

Before he could spiral any further in his mind, a door below him opened with a creak. Three men dressed in black exited the building. It was too dark to see their expressions, but from the laughter escaping one of the guy’s lips, he was almost glad he couldn’t see it. They stopped just in front of Tommy and Clementine’s point of view, their hands moving in the air as they talked to each other. The vigilante couldn’t make out what they were saying from his position. He pulled out his dart gun from his pocket, shutting one eye as he pointed it at the most buff-looking man in the group.

Normally, Tommy wouldn’t shoot men like that with a dart gun. Even with its somewhat enhanced abilities, the traffickers wouldn’t be affected that much, considering their sizes. You see, that’s where the new darts come in. These weren’t just any darts- no, no. They were laced with a toxin that would inject a sleeping drug into the person’s system, making them collapse in a deep sleep almost instantly. Not only that, but they were gifted to him by the Blade himself. How cool is that? So basically, the two other men would be too caught up in trying to figure out what was going on with their friend, and Tommy would be able to shoot them in a breeze.

He stilled his hands, taking one breath, and on the release, pulled the trigger. He couldn’t exactly see it, but he was pretty sure that the dart hit its mark by the way the man crumpled to the ground. See, this is where the other two would freak out and be distracted, and Tommy could take another aim. The second shot that rang out told him that he was very much wrong about his prediction of what was supposed to happen, because he hadn’t pulled the trigger on his dart gun again.

Startled beyond belief, Tommy _might_ have fallen out of his perch in the tree, softening his landing quickly with a roll. Pain sprang from where he originally impacted, but it could’ve been a lot worse, so he quickly brushed off the pine needles when he stood up. In no time at all, he pulled out his pen, clicking it into a large, metal baton that he mostly beat bad guys with. Sometimes he uses it to hit Ranboo, which, now that he thinks about it, is practically the same thing.

“Who are you?” A rather mean-looking fellow with a scar running down his face asked him, pointing his gun right at Tommy’s face. The vigilante did not exactly appreciate his rude tone, and honestly, the fact that he didn’t know the absolutely phenomenal TommyInnit was rather insulting. He would’ve bonked the man in the head for his grievous actions against his pride, but there was a certain other person standing just to the side that literally had knives for fingers. His ears were blades, too. _What the fuck._

Tommy slowly adjusted his grip on his baton, carefully watching as the knife man stepped closer to him, hands resting in front of his chest like some sort of rat. “Men, it’s rather disappointing that you would forget my face, don’t you think. I’m here to bargain for some merchandise, that’s all.” The word _merchandise_ rolled off of his tongue distastefully. Referring to children as mere items to be bought and sold was an all-time low for him, really. He didn’t want to say it, but it was all for the act.

“You’re coming with us, or you're getting a bullet to the brain, kid.” Well shit. Turns out, his lie was actually useless. Now he was in a situation where he could either follow the men to the run-down building in front of them, or he could try and beat the crap out the wrong-ins in front of him.

Tommy chose to do what’s called a Pro Gamer Move™. He dropped his weapon on the ground, praying that Clementine would be okay until he could figure out how to escape the gun and blades wielded by men who had taken hundreds of kids like him before. No problem. He was a vigilante, nothing he couldn’t solve on his own.

He knew he was lying. Reality slapped him in his face, and for the love of God, he couldn’t get his hands to stop shaking. For once in his life, he truly didn’t know what to do. He had lost connection with Tubbo, he was being led to a human trafficking ring, and his daughter was stuck in a tree. Fish don’t belong in trees, everybody knows that. The worst of all, though, was that there was nobody to save him. Nobody to get him out of there in their arms and yell at his ass for being so reckless. Nobody was there to tell him that being a vigilante is illegal, and despite it all, managed to befriend three of the top-ranked heroes.

The gun didn’t lower as the knife man held his arms together behind his back. The blades were digging into his skin painfully, no doubt drawing blood. He let out an involuntary grimace. The cool steel of a gun barrel pressed against his head just after his mask was torn off of his face. Tommy shut his mouth, so the words that came next couldn’t possibly have been from him.

“ _Drop the gun._ ” The sentence strung together mimicked that of a coiled snake, striking the victim with its deadly venom. It was an unfair fight, really, because the snake always jumps out of nowhere, unsuspecting in it’s traverse in the night. Its prey was left undefended, exposed, and afraid of the fangs that didn’t release until the venom was deep within the system. Tommy grinned. He loved that fucking snake.

The weapon cluttered to the ground, the man in a daze. “ _Hug a tree for ten minutes._ ” His voice was a lullaby, filtering in and out of the trafficker’s ears as a siren’s call. The man walked away towards the closest tree, wrapping his arms around it, and even going as far to snuggle it. Truly, it was a wonderful sight to see. Tommy let out a relieved laugh, his heart pounding vigorously in his chest.

The laugh didn’t last for long. Before Wilbur could utter his next words, Tommy’s sweatshirt ripped in two different places. One, right in the middle of his chest. Second, his lower left side. He didn’t register the pain at first- not when there was release of the hold on his wrists and the fact that his own blood was literally dripping off of his fingers to focus on. Willow ordered the knife man to dig a six foot hole. He complied with misted eyes.

Tommy’s brain buzzed as he stumbled back, dabbing at his side precariously. He registered that Willow had come out of his hiding place, slowly walking towards the clearing in front of the building. The human trafficking building that Tommy was almost in. Thank God for his hero friends. That was when his mind decided it was time to register the multiple penetrations in his body that were bleeding out all over the place. He fell back, landing painfully on his ass.

“What are you _doing_ here, Tommy?” Willow- Wilbur asked as he approached the boy. Tommy couldn’t find it in him to sit up anymore, letting himself lay on the grass as one of the traffickers dug a hole beside him. He coughed instead of replying, feeling as though his throat was filled with a liquid of some sort. “This is incredibly dangerous, even for you, I don’t…”

Wilbur- Willow- Wilby- whatever, trailed off from his sentence. Tommy didn’t know what caused that. He blinked blearily at the night sky, wondering how he was going to get Clementine down from the tree. He lifted his arms, staring at his red-soaked skin. His blood was dark. That wasn’t good, was it? That meant veins were cut, right? He wasn’t sure if he was right or not. All he really knew was that he was dying at an incredible rate.

Somewhere along the way, he was taught that if you are stabbed, keep the blade inside the wound so it traps the blood and keeps you from bleeding out. Tilting his head to press against his neck, he glanced at the open holes gushing out liquid on his chest. There was nothing stopping the blood flow, he realized, so he dropped his hand on top of the wound. He gasped at the pain, face scrunching up as pangs shot through his whole body.

“Tommy. Tommy, stay with me.” He didn’t miss the panicked look on Willow- WIlbur’s face as he pulled out some sort of device. He only said a few words that Tommy didn’t really comprehend, instead focusing on the fact that Willow the Siren Hero was _right there_. Honestly, running into him never got any less exciting. He supposed it was rather sad, though, because he figured that this would be the last time he would ever get to see him. “Stay calm. Deep breaths.”

Tommy couldn’t take deep breaths, no matter how hard he tried. When he did, he found himself coughing, liquid spilling out of his lips. That wasn’t good. Nothing about this was good. “I’m going to die.” He spoke his truth, tears pricking at the edges of his eyes. He’d always thought that going out on the battlefield would be an honorable way to die. Now that he was there, he was starting to think that it wasn’t as pog as he thought it was going to be.

Wilb- Wilby(?) shook his head, lifting Tommy off of the ground. “No. I won’t let you.” His voice shook. The terrifying snake slithered away, its venom all depleted. It was scared, and no longer saw the point in hunting down more prey. The vigilante frowned at the visual. He shifted his body to be a little more comfortable in the carry. When had Willow started to carry him?

If the snake was afraid, then Tommy was dead. Only the worst of things could scare the snake, so it only made sense that the kid wouldn’t make it much longer. He didn’t want to die. He wanted to talk to Tubbo. He wanted to feed Clementine. He wanted to run around with his favorite heroes. He wanted to eat Ranboo’s spaghetti. That last one was a lie.

Tommy was going to pass away before he could do anything else. So, he relayed what he wanted done to Willow. He trusted Wilbur enough to carry out his requests in his memory. It was also his only option if he wanted the world to know what truly went on in the mind of TommyInnit. “Tell Tubbo that he needs to fix his tech.” Blood splattered on Willow’s hair. “And that I never meant to annoy him like I did.”

—•—•—

Wilbur knew he would never forget that moment for the rest of his life. It haunted him even now, as he ran with his dying brother on his back. He wasn’t sure when Tommy became his little brother, but he was now, and that’s all that mattered.

He should’ve known the moment the trafficker let go of Tommy’s arms. He should’ve seen it, not when the kid was already lying on the ground, convinced he was going to bleed out and die right there. The Siren Hero shifted Tommy’s weight on his back, feeling his chest blood soak his hero outfit to the bone. He tried to ignore it the best he could, because there was nothing he could do about it at the moment.

Every word Tommy said was like a stab to the skull. He hated it. He hated the way the kid was monologuing like all of the movie characters do right before they die. The cockiest, most rude characters- they share their innermost thoughts. They apologize for everything they’ve done. They ask for messages to be relayed to the people they think they’ve hurt the most. “And that I’m sorry for dying on him like this. Not very pogchamp of me.”

“You aren’t going to die.” It was hard to reassure Tommy when he didn’t believe his own words. It wasn’t like he could ask Tommy to stop talking, because the minute the kid shuts his mouth is the moment he dies. He could never keep his goddamn thoughts to himself. WIlbur huffed as the cold air bit at his cheeks.

“Tell Ranboo that I’m sorry for basically everything. I was just scared that I would lose my best friend.” Willow didn’t know who the hell that was. Salty tears trickled down his face. He couldn’t lose Tommy. _Please, God, I will send myself to Hell if it means he stays safe._ “He needs to stop putting spaghetti into everything, though. It’s- It’s a-” He stumbled on his words. Wilbur felt a chin collide with the back of his head lightly. “Unsanitary.”

Wilbur wanted to scream as loud as he could and shout at the world for the way that it runs. It just wasn’t fair. Why, _why_ did it have to be Tommy? There were three men deserving of death just a few meters apart. Why couldn’t have they be killed? Why does it always have to be the innocents that die? “ _Clementine_. Tell _Clementine_ that I love her. And that she has to respect Tubbo like she did to me. And that she needs to beat up Ra- Ran-” There was a lull in his speech. Willow ignored the gasp of pain emitting from the kid when he jostled him a little.

Clementine. He had to go back and get Tommy’s fish as soon as possible. First and foremost, however, was that he had to get to the hospital. The road was coming up not so far away, and there, Phil would be waiting. He would be able to carry Tommy away to get medical treatment and keep him from dying, no matter how much the kid listed off his own will.

There was a terrifying silence in the air. Wilbur called out Tommy’s name hesitantly, as if he was afraid of the reply. Perhaps something worse happened- there was no response at all. The tears streamed down faster from his eyes just as he broke through the tree line. He spotted Phil’s wings, and cried out in relief and pain. The relief came from the fact that he could now get Tommy to a hospital. The pain was that it might be too late.

—•—•—

He blinked open his eyes, only to shut them immediately after. The light was too bright for his sensitive eyes, causing a headache to already start forming. He’s literally been awake for point two seconds, how could he already be suffering? Such is the life of TommyInnit. He attempted at seeing for a second time, this time succeeding in all of his great glory.

He knew this wasn’t his bed. The reason why is because Tubbo would be sleeping right next to him, a stinky foot pressed against his nose uncomfortably. Also, it was tilted, so he was more sitting than he was laying like he people normally do when they sleep. Now that he was thinking about it, why the Hell was he asleep? Wasn’t he on a mission to undermine a human trafficking ring?

The next thing Tommy noticed were the people sitting by his bed, carrying on a quiet conversation without him. “Techno?” He whispered, unable to pronounce his voice because his throat was dried up. The man in question tilted his head to regard Tommy, eyes widening for half a millisecond before retreating back into his normal, unimpressed expression.

The last thing the vigilante realized was that he was in a hospital. Pain stabbed at his various areas in his body, but he chose to focus on the ones that hurt the most. He shakily lifted his arms, strength all but gone. “Hey, kid. Glad to see you awake.” His arms were wrapped in bandages. Looking down, his entire torso was covered with nice, white bandages. He looked like a goddamn mummy.

A heavy sigh of relief sounded from the other side of the Blade. Wilbur was staring at the boy with something he couldn’t discern, body slumping forward as he released the tension he held inside. He narrowed his eyes, glancing from his bandages to one of his favorite heroes in the entire world. And suddenly, he remembered. He remembered everything, from the moment he left his apartment, and to the point where Willow started to carry him. After that, he couldn’t recall what happened.

Panic seized his chest as he glanced around, trying to see where Tubbo and Clementine were. Tubbo- Tubbo was right there, at the edge of his bed, giving him a rather weird look. And Clementine was beside him, swimming slowly back and forth in her sprite bottle. A gentle hand clasped his own, thumb rubbing his backhand. “Calm down, Tommy. You’re safe here.”

Tommy stared into the eyes of Philza the Wing Hero. He was comforting Tommy. _Oh my God. This is very pogchamp._ His three favorite heroes, Tubbo, and Clementine, all in this oddly big hospital room, just for him? This was an achievement of a lifetime. He could now die a happy man. Unlike before, because the only person there was Wilbur. Yeah, the Siren Hero is really cool and kind of saved his life, but he wasn’t able to properly say his goodbyes to everyone. Here, he could really do that.

“If you ever do that again, I’m going to bring you back to life and murder you again.” Tommy shifted his gaze to Tubbo, Phil letting go of his hand at the same time. He briefly considered faking a panic attack before determining that Tubbo would definitely perform his threat a lot sooner if he did that.

Tommy smiled. He had missed his roommate, truly. He wasn’t anything without Tubbo, that was for certain. The only thing he had to fear now was the window that would be waiting for him when he was well enough to go back home. He could see it now- TommyInnit, the great vigilante, being defenestrated by his beloved best friend into the dumpster below as Ranboo watches on. The bastard had the audacity to eat spaghetti while this happened. Clementine- well, Clementine was blowing bubbles at him. Tommy could forgive her, though, because she was his beautiful daughter.

There was a lull in the conversation that was palpable, carrying on an unbearable amount of time before Techno decided to break the ice. “Man, you should’ve seen Wilbur. He was hysterical while you were asleep. Never left your side for a moment.” Tommy raised his eyebrows. He was honestly surprised; he didn’t think Willow actually cared that much about him. It was hard to believe that this was the same man who was out for his head a couple months ago. “I took pictures if you wanna see.”

Tommy nodded his head vehemently as the Blade began shifting his weight to bring out his phone from his pocket. The vigilante brought Clementine to sit on his lap so she, too, could see the wonderful spectacle of Willow in a state of panic. Before he could open it, however, someone called out his name. Techno blinked, staring at his brother in caution. Though, he knew there was nothing that could stop the next words. “ _Jump out the window._ ”

Phil’s sigh of exasperation was louder than the crash of the window as the Sword Hero swan-dived out the building.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed my story. if you saw any mistakes, please let me know. i hope you have a wonderful day and/or night!


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